Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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