They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
