What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
