I was born with a shot glass in my hand
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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