i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
