I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
