He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
