I am puke
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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