please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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