$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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