you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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