He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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