i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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