i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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