I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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