I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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