There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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