My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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