white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
