I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
