Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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