I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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