I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
