At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize