i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
