i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
