they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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