They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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