Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
