ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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