On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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