I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize