You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize