Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just google imaged poop.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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