Got a toothbrush?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
