I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
