And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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