How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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