I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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