I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
where am i from again
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize