I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
