So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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