Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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