so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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