carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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