I don't usually arrange sex via text message
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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