I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
