erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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