just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize