For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
