You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
