the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize