that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
