are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
