I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize