This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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