You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
