Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
