The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
50% drunk capacity currently
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
