Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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