What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
