yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
